When Lisa Ormenyessy and her husband set an intention to ‘future proof’ their relationship, they came up with a novel idea. By writing to each other in a shared notebook regularly, they keep their relationship alive with messages of love and appreciation.
“The messages range from ‘I really appreciated you emptying the dishwasher today’ to ‘thank you for fixing my computer’,” says Lisa.
“Of course there are the more amorous and sexy ones too.”
The shared joy in reading and writing the notes to each other is the reason they keep doing it. Ormenyessy says that receiving a new note is like getting a surprise and makes her fall more in love with her husband.
The adage rings true when it comes to love – the pen is mightier than the sword, or the text.
“It can be difficult to write in it when you’re in a bad mood or annoyed at each other, but it does force you to look for the good,” she says.
Whilst Ormenyessy’s notes may seem a bit old-fashioned to some, for many of us, it seems that the written word is not completely dead.
A recent survey conducted by online dating site and revealed that Australians are still putting pen to paper when it comes to love.
85 per cent of people say that writing down their feelings helps them feel clearer and calmer, while 55 per cent said it helped them kiss and make up after an argument.
“Taking the time to reflect inwardly and then picking up a pen to write your feelings down can be incredibly powerful for yourself and your relationships, helping you move through difficulties onto better times,” says John Aiken, psychologist and dating and relationship expert.
Living in a technologically driven society, it’s easy enough to send declarations of love via email or text so you could be forgiven for thinking this is the norm.
Yet, 80 per cent of survey respondents said that they had previously hand-written a love letter, and an overwhelming 90 per cent said they believed there was still a place for the love letter today.
When it comes to Valentine’s Day the results are much the same, with 77 per cent of people saying they write and send cards.
85 per cent of people say that writing down their feelings helps them feel clearer and calmer, while 55 per cent said it helped them kiss and make up after an argument.
Sydney couple, Iona Yeung and Cristian, are amongst those who will be doing exactly that this year.
The couple, who get married in three weeks, met the modern way, through a dating app. However, they have since embraced old-fashioned romance and regularly write love notes and cards to each other.
“We started writing to each other in the early stages of our relationship as letters were a way for us to express our feelings,” says Yeung.
“We write to each other on special occasions, and on my birthday and Christmas, Cristian will always include a letter. The letters are an expression of our love and about our vision of a future together.”
Yeung believes that the act of writing letters or messages keeps us in the present and keeps the love alive. She also believes it encourages us to really think about the message we want to deliver.
...the beauty of a hand written love letter is that it can be kept and cherished for years to come.
“Texting doesn't require as much effort, especially with things like predictive text, whereas writing strengthens communication in a relationship,” she says.
Consequently, unlike texts, which can be instantly forgotten or deleted, the beauty of a hand written love letter is that it can be kept and cherished for years to come.
This was supported by the survey’s findings, which showed that 45 per cent of respondents had kept love letters from previous partners.
54 per cent said that writing a love letter shows that you’ve taken the time to think about your loved one, and 25 per cent said it was a lovely way to communicate your feelings.
“It may seem that everyone is using emojis and gifs to communicate their feelings today, but if you really want to win someone over, the key may be putting down the phone and picking up a pen,” said Dave Heysen, CEO of RSVP.
“The adage rings true when it comes to love – the pen is mightier than the sword, or the text.”
