There is an assumption that men are just more sexual, which is not true. And maybe psychologically speaking and physiologically speaking, it takes less for us to be excited or to act on impulses. There might be some truth to it there but it’s very untrue that women do not have the same desires.
I was 21 [when I decided to save sex until marriage]. It came to a point where I’m like ‘Yep, okay I’m going to try and do this properly. I’m going to try and wait this out.
I lost friends and I also lost ladies that I was talking to. There have been people that I have been interested in, and they’ve been interested as well and because I wasn’t willing to do certain things with them, they would want to cut that off. So it started to come with a bit of a price tag.
My best friend, we would go out and party, and go to the gym and we did everything together, there was kind of a point where he broke up with me. He’s like, ‘Man, we’re just too different. You’re really weird now.’
My best friend, we would go out and party, and go to the gym and we did everything together, there was kind of a point where he broke up with me.
It's something that I’ve struggled with personally a lot. Because obviously you’re young, you have a lot of temptations, you have a lot of people who are constantly questioning you. Even very attractive women that are questioning why you don’t want to sleep with them.
Outside of my cultural group and outside of my community, it’s harder for people to accept. And there have been some people where they’ve pretended to respect the boundaries and be really interested. But then later on they’re really just trying to push it as far as they can and not actually respect it.
I’m very open minded. I was on Hinge and meeting different people, some really great people from different cultural backgrounds. For me faith is important, but I’m not dogmatic about: ‘You have to be Coptic Orthodox,’ which I am. People can kind of tell you one thing but their views might be different. So it can be hard to work out who’s genuine and who’s not when it comes to that.
David Ghebranious features in The Swiping Game, out now on SBS On Demand. Source: SBS
If you say ‘I am celibate,’ they’ll be like ‘Are you a monk?’. It sounds a bit intense. And then if you say, ‘I’m waiting for marriage,’ that sounds cheesy. So any way you put it, it’s going to sound strange.
If you say ‘I am celibate,’ they’ll be like ‘Are you a monk?’ It sounds a bit intense.
I’ve also had people say, ‘there’s no way that you haven’t slept with someone.’ I’m 28 now and they’ll be like, ‘There’s no way that you’ve bloody gone this long.’ So it’s interesting, I guess people respond differently. People are shocked.
I don’t think [celibacy] has to be a first date conversation. It's important for that to be a very organic thing. It’s definitely a case by case thing. Relatively early on you try and - not necessarily be direct about it - but just suss out where they’re at and what their values are and what their experience has been.
It’s not something that I’m ashamed of or something that I’m insecure about. I’ve got no problem putting it out there. And in a way, it’s kind of a good thing, because you might put it out there and you see their response and that will be really telling. And it’s probably better to do it sooner rather than later so you don’t waste one another’s time.
It’s not something that I’m ashamed of or something that I’m insecure about. I’ve got no problem putting it out there.
People do have that assumption as well, that people of any religion that are celibate are sexually repressed, or maybe even oppressed, or they’re just prudes and they’re not going to understand life, and they’re not normal people. And it’s not true, it’s not true at all.
It doesn’t mean that they don’t have sexuality, they don’t have fantasies, they don’t have those desires. It’s all there, but they’re just not dominated by that, their decisions aren’t motivated by that.
The physical act of sex in marriage is only really one aspect and it’s not the aspect I’m looking forward to most. [What I’m] looking forward to most is like meeting someone that I really feel I can connect with and I really feel is a life partner. And I think that intimacy is what I’m longing for most."
David Ghebranious hosts podcast and appears in an episode of the SBS series on dating The Swiping Game: Is Sex a Deal-Breaker?
The Swiping Game
At 25, I thought I was the last virgin on Earth
