Voluntary Assisted Dying has been for years, and daughters of the first woman to make use of the legislation, Kerry Robertson, have described her death as “calm and beautiful.”
“She was just choosing the control and we wanted to give that to her,” says Nicole Robertson.
"It definitely saved us from the trauma that we would have endured and that we know a lot of people have endured, watching a loved one pass away.”
After being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, and going into remission, in 2015 Kerry was told the cancer had and she could no longer be treated.
Daughters, Jacqui and Nicole, say the last 12 months of decline were extremely difficult for Kerry, who expressed that she wanted to die even before Voluntary Assisted Dying legislation had passed in Victorian government.
“[She was in] so much pain… but it wasn’t just the pain, it was the nausea, vomiting, not being able to keep anything down, losing drastic amounts of weight, having tremors and difficulty swallowing,” says Nicole.
“She finally said, ‘I’ve had enough',” says Jacqui Hicks.
Kerry's daughters say she wanted control over her end of life. Source: Supplied
Jacqui and Nicole say they had time to plan out the day, to make it personal for their mum. They spent the day doing meditation, put salt lamps around the room and played songs by David Bowie - Kerry’s favourite singer.
“She just wanted it to be peaceful, to have love in the room… that’s what she had,” says Nicole.
“We wanted it to reflect her life.”
Belinda Teh’s mother, Mareia, was diagnosed with breast cancer at 62 years old, and like Kerry, she was told it had metastasized and she could no longer be treated.
Belinda couldn’t believe what her mother requested after getting that news.
“My mum's instant response to her oncologist was, ‘can you help me go quicker',” says Belinda.
"When those words came out of her mouth I felt like I was hit by a bus because my mum was a lifelong staunch Catholic.”
Mariea was being cared for in a major hospital in Western Australia, where Voluntary Assisted Dying had not yet been legalised.
Belinda says her mother was told by doctors that her request to die was not an option as it was illegal, and instead, Mariea was terminally sedated.
“Her skin was all these different colours that I'd never seen on a person who was alive before.”
It was like she was dead, but still breathing and the twitching, choking… my mum looked at me and I know she was in there, I know that she could feel everything.”
Belinda describes the palliative care team as “wonderful” but says it got to the point where palliative care could not do anything further, resulting in her mother’s distressing death.
“It was the most traumatic, devastating moment of my life and it will haunt me for the rest of my life.”
Since losing her mother, Belinda has been a strong advocate for the legalisation of Voluntary Assisted Dying in Western Australia – where the legislation was recently passed, and came into effect in July 2021.
Queensland, Tasmania and South Australia also all passed Voluntary Assisted Dying laws in 2021, and NSW followed with legislation in May 2022.
Belinda says she wishes her mother’s end of life could have been like the experience Jacqui and Nicole had with their mother.
“I’ll be honest, I’m jealous of you ladies, and that you got to talk about it with your loved ones, who wanted to express their choices and wanted to take control,” says Belinda.
It’s such a stupid thing to say that I’m jealous, but I totally am... I’m so relieved for you guys that you had that and I wish my mum could have had that too.”
