This week Insight explores why some males are feeling overlooked and unwanted in today’s world. Watch Insight's episode ‘Lost Boys' on Tuesday, May 2 from 8.30pm on .
Dom Edgeworth, a 23-year-old psychology graduate, believes if men want to be viewed positively by their male and female peers, there is a specific way they should act.
“When I was in school it was always the boys that were more masculine, more popular that had a better time. That was the case when my dad was at school and I think it will still be the case in 50 years.”
Dom Edgeworth as a teenager.
While Dom believes that toxic masculinity exists, he says it’s not all toxic.
“You’ll have people who act in a traditionally masculine way now who are being ostracised for it and criticised,” says Dom.
Dom says he viewed his father as a “stronger role model” and somebody his mother could lean on and this type of masculinity should not be villainised.
He believes despite criticisms of masculinity, women still desire the ‘traditional’ masculine man, or someone that fits traditional gender roles.
Will Collet, a former police officer who is now a men’s lifestyle coach, says the perception of what a man should be has been evolving ever since the feminist movement began.
You’ve got strength and bravery and resilience. Those are the ways you should act if you want to be perceived as masculine.Dom Edgeworth
The 56-year-old says the changing definition of ‘what it means to be a man’ has left some men confused.
“It's hard for youngsters sometimes and even the older fellows to decipher the way they should be,” says Will.
Suicide rates higher among men
Dom says figures on suicide and depression are the best indicators of how well men are doing.
Suicide Australia reports that relationship breakdowns, financial distress, unemployment, relationship conflict and bereavement are factors that contribute to male suicide.
“The suicide rate is almost three times as high in men,” Mr Edgeworth said.
“Male depression is such a prevalent issue, because men aren't leading these wonderful, privileged lives that like to be espoused in the media.”
Disadvantages between genders
Professor Josh Roose is an Associate Professor at Deakin University who specialises in masculinity and extremism. He told Insight men aren’t as disadvantaged as some might suggest.
“Women remain consistently underpaid, and, over the course of their lifetime, receive less superannuation. Women receive less opportunity to progress into positions of leadership, ” Dr Roose said.
“Let's talk about the consistent structural inequality that prevents women, educated as they are, from progressing in society into positions of power. How many prime ministers have we had in this country who are women? How many senior female leaders and role models in this country can you name in positions of great power who are women?
At the end of the day, it doesn't change the fact that structurally, women face significant inequality in society and continue to do so.”
What it means to be a man
Even men who have lived traditionally ‘masculine’ lives are struggling to find direction.
Will Collett’s career first started on a cattle farm. He then enlisted in the military before joining the Australian Police Force. Will had to leave the job after being diagnosed with chronic post-traumatic stress disorder and now coaches men who’ve served in similar lines of work and are looking for direction.
Will left the Australian Federal Police after being diagnosed with chronic post-traumatic stress disorder. Credit: Miwa Blumer
Will describes being a man as being true to yourself.
Even men who have lived traditionally ‘masculine’ lives are struggling to find direction.Will Collett
When coaching men, he focuses on fitness, finances, family and friends, fun and faith - five foundations to help men find their sense of belonging and purpose.
“We need some stable male role models, who are masculine and not masculine or whatever they are, but are just humble, good men, and stand strong."
This article has been updated.
