Two women in their kitchen.
Two women in their kitchen.
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Gail and Lisette waited decades for this love story

Gail and Lisette didn't come out as transgender until they were in their 50s. This is their story.

Published 31 March 2023 11:28am
Updated 31 March 2023 1:11pm
By Emma Brancatisano
Source: SBS News
Image: Gail and Lisette in their kitchen. Source: Francesca Rizzoli (Francesca Rizzoli)
This article contains reference to suicide.

On a spring day at a beachfront hotel in Adelaide, Gail and Lisette Claremont Goulet tied the knot.

The happy couple wore matching dresses; Gail's red, Lisette's white.

"When we walked into the room, it exploded with shouting and cheering and applause. It was amazing," Gail tells SBS News while sitting next to her wife. "We felt really special."

It was 2021 and, like many couples, they'd had to postpone their wedding due to COVID-19. But their journey to this moment started many years before that.
Two women raise their hands inside. One is wearing a red dress, the other a white dress. There is a woman to each side of them cheering.
Gail, left, and Lisette, right, on their wedding day. Source: Supplied / Gail and Lisette Claremont Goulet
Gail and Lisette were both in their 50s when they came out as transgender and they're now sharing their stories in a documentary called The Love Of My Life.

Lisette, 59, was born in Adelaide, and was around four years old when she says she felt different.

"A person that young has no way of labelling or understanding it."

She says there wasn't a lot of support growing up and so learnt to "hide those signs".

"You spend a lot of your time protecting yourself so you don’t get exposed or beaten up."

Gail, 65, has a similar story.

Born in Perth, she says she was bullied at school and her parents hoped she'd fit in at "church boys clubs".

"We don't decide to be transgender, we're transgender from as early as we can actually work it out."

"We didn't have the terminology ... I knew something was different. My parents thought something was wrong."
A woman wearing a red dress standing outside the window of a house.
Lisette on the couple's first date in 2018. Source: Supplied / Gail and Lisette Claremont Goulet
In their adult lives came work, marriages and children. But while Gail climbed the corporate ladder in telecommunications, she says she struggled to make friends while "hiding everything".

"We had to hide who we were. We couldn't let it slip otherwise you might lose your job."
Gail describes experiencing gender dysphoria - a feeling of discomfort that might occur when a person's gender identity differs from their sex assigned at birth - through her morning routine.

She would lay out her clothes in the living room the night before work and get dressed in there, before returning to the mirror to do her hair.

"I couldn't stand to look at myself, because it wasn't who I am," she says.
I couldn’t stand to look at myself, because it wasn’t who I am.
- Gail
For Lisette, solo-parenting her daughter from the age of six months old kept her quiet.

"That's one of the reasons why I didn't come out earlier; you have this little person that you need to support and the best way was pretending to be something you're not."
A woman with purple hair wearing a blue long-sleeved t-shirt and standing outside
Gail loves dying her hair and going through the colours of the rainbow. Purple is her favourite. Source: Supplied / Gail and Lisette Claremont Goulet
Gail's turning point came when she attempted suicide.

Her wife had died from cancer two years earlier. She had told her wife she was trans but hadn't come out in public.

"That's when everything got too much and I couldn't put up with all the discrimination and all the pressure," she says.

"The day after [the suicide attempt], I said, 'you're not going back to what you were. You are now Gail full-time, and you are going to help people'."
In 2018, Gail and Lisette had both recently come out when they met at a social club. They continued to talk on Instagram about their shared love of food and cooking before going on their first date to an art gallery.

Later in the evening, they attended a hair and makeup night for trans women, where Lisette was a model.

"She was beautiful," Gail says.

At the end of the night, Gail told Lisette she was in love with her. They started living together and were engaged later that year.

But their route to marriage was hindered by legal challenges.
Two women carrying handbags stand in front of a blacked parked car.
Gail and Lisette on their way to South Australia's Community Achievement Awards. Source: Supplied / Gail and Lisette Claremont Goulet
The "law [was] such that if we were married, and then I changed my gender, we would have to get divorced," Gail says.

All states and territories previously had a legal provision that forced trans and gender-diverse people to divorce their spouse before changing their gender on their birth certificate.

Lisette had already changed her gender under South Australian laws, but at that time in WA things were more complicated for Gail.

She would first need to demonstrate she had undertaken surgical or medical intervention in order to update her legal gender, as well as submit letters from experts and her friends to the state's Gender Reassignment Board for approval.
The "forced divorce" laws have now been scrapped across Australia. Tasmania was the last to revoke the requirement, in 2019.

In December, WA announced plans to abolish the Gender Reassignment Board and said it would no longer require people to have undertaken surgical or medical intervention before updating their legal gender under new reforms.
Today, Gail gets dressed in front of the mirror, and she and Lisette have both become grandmas.

They also work as advocates for diversity and inclusion.

Together they formed the TLLPC (Transgender Lipstick Lesbian Power Couple), an organisation which provides education and programs to businesses, sports and social clubs. They also set up Kindred Spirits Australia, a social group for the LGBTIQ+ community, their families and allies.

And they're sharing their story on the big screen.
"I know people don’t like this term, but it normalises it [the trans experience]," Lisette says.

"The more they see you, the more comfortable they become. And then the bigotry and hate just melts away in most people."
The more they see you, the more comfortable they become. And then the bigotry and hate just melts away in most people.
- Lisette
Director of the documentary, Francesca Rizzoli, who is also a journalist for SBS Italian, says she was drawn to Gail and Lisette's openness to tell their story.

"This is a story about love and freedom because, finally, they were able to be who they really are," she says.

She urged audiences to think about why Gail and Lisette had to wait for so long to live and marry as their true selves.

"It is because of us as a society - and it should not happen for anyone."

"I would love people to stop judging and telling people who they should be. They are two women - that's it."
Anna Brown, chief executive of LGBTIQ+ advocacy group Equality Australia, says sharing stories that demonstrate the humanity of trans and gender-diverse people is particularly important at the moment.

She cites an increase in attacks and hatred against trans people globally, and in recent weeks in Australia, including

"Some of these displays are typical of the sort of vilification that trans people have to deal with every day."

"It's by sharing the stories of trans and gender diverse people and amplifying their voices that we know the broader public can really understand and relate to their experiences. And we see support grow across the community."
A woman wearing a white dress and a woman wearing a red dress sitting close together.
Gail and Lisette on their wedding day. Source: Supplied / Gail and Lisette Claremont Goulet
For Gail and Lisette, they want their story to provide hope for others.

"It just says, 'it's tough out there, but it's worth it'," Gail says.

"When you fall in love with somebody, when you're your true self, you're not hiding anything," Lisette says.

"There is always hope, there is always love, and love always wins."

International Transgender Day of Visibility is marked on 31 March.

The Love Of My Life airs at 6.30pm on 2 April on the ABC's Compass program.

Would you like to share your story with SBS News? Email 

LGBTIQ+ Australians seeking support with mental health can contact QLife on 1800 184 527 or visit also has a list of support services.

Readers seeking crisis support can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for young people aged up to 25). More information and support with mental health is available at and on 1300 22 4636.

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