Tasmin Bahar, Lisa Harnum, Zahra Abrahimzadeh, Leila Alavi, Cherie Vize and countless other women are part of the sad and abhorrent statistics. But the story is much more than statistics.
The women named were in intimate relationships, within which they should actually feel safe and loved. Yet it was their ‘lover’ who killed them, sometimes brutally, by repeatedly stabbing them in public places such as a Convention Centre, and private places such as their homes.
These murders continue to occur despite many women obtaining apprehended violence orders and/or reporting their fears to the police.
Fear & Jealousy
All of these women were scared, and some of them even had chilling premonitions that they would be murdered.
Some men described their vicious acts as conducted in a “fit of rage”. They have been described as “controlling”, “obsessive” and/or “jealous”.
Mokhtar Hosseiniamraei told the police through an interpreter that he had killed Ms Alavi “because we were married, and ... she broke the contract. I could not tolerate it. And I could not forget it.”
Abusers seek to control their partners, which backfires as they thereby lose the benefits of a relationship where each partner can be independent, complimentary and contribute to each other’s growth.
Victim blaming
The Our Watch media awards, held last night, highlight the powerful role that the media can play in addressing domestic violence.
Our Watch and Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety released new research in June 2016 in the 'Media Representations of Violence Against Women' report. This report indicated while there has been positive change, victim blaming is still present in 1 in 6 articles on the issue, and that only 4.3 per cent of news reports included information on how to seek help.
Media reports should be ethical and constructive. This involves holding the perpetrator to account, rather than the victim.
The focus should be on the perpetrator and must acknowledge the emotional, financial or other ties and attachment a woman may have with her ex-partner, especially if they have a child together and/or she has little or no family or friends in Australia.
In good faith, Ms Bahar agreed to let her ex-partner see their daughter on Father’s Day 2016. Little did she know that the fatal consequences would be an alleged double murder-suicide of her child’s parents.
Irrespective of their age, socioeconomic, religious, cultural or linguistic background, women often stay in relationships because they fear the consequences of leaving it.
Some cultures exacerbate such feelings, because there are stereotypes that ‘a woman’s place is in the home’ and communities may be out of touch for what is good for a woman in such a situation. I know of cases where community members have not believed a girl’s genuine fears.
Even if a woman has family in Australia, they could make her feel ashamed for taking a brave step of leaving a destructive relationship. In fact, belonging to a particular social group of "divorced women fearful of returning to their homeland" has been a ground for some applicants obtaining refugee status and protection visas.
Ways to address DV
There are numerous strategies to tackle the growing problem of violence against women.
Education
Some men, particularly from certain culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) backgrounds may be used to the male being the sole breadwinner and ‘master’ of his home. Once married, a woman may be regarded as his 'possession' or 'property' to control and dominate. A woman who dares to defy him or leave him contravenes the 'rule of marriage', and must be killed.
Such archaic and backward values must be challenged. The destructive way in which a man responds to a partner leaving him must also be addressed. Such individuals should receive education and training in areas such as anger management, conflict resolution and communication, so their feelings can be expressed in constructive rather than destructive ways.
Education is integral to positive change. When I was on the panel of ABC TV's Q&A, I passionately spoke about the importance of education, starting from the family home to the curriculum of schools and universities to training provided in workplaces. It is good to note that Our Watch Respectful Relationships Education will be prioritised in the Australian Curriculum, and hopefully this will be expanded.
Police & Government strategies
Strong support from police and adequate government spending is critical to addressing DV.
Some reports cited poor responses from the police prior to the deaths of the women. It is heartening to note that NSW Police has over 100 dedicated Domestic Violence Liaison Officers (DVLO). However, every police station should have at least one DVLO.
After Police are called to a DV scene, they can film a victim’s video statement. NSW is the first state in Australia to allow a DV survivor to deliver evidence to Court via video.
NSW is also the first state to introduce a Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme. People can seek information about a person’s proven violent offending history. The scheme is being piloted in four NSW Police Local Area Commands.
Funding for domestic violence programs has been increased at the state and federal level, but too many women are still being turned away from shelters.
Apps
Preventative action is imperative in stopping DV. The Aurora DV app is for people experiencing DV, or for those worried about their relationship, or for those worried that a friend or family member is experiencing domestic and family violence.
The app contains useful and potentially life-saving information including: emergency contacts, information on the sorts of behaviour considered to be DV, vital information and links to support services available in NSW. It also allows the user to message their trusted friends and family members or call emergency services immediately.
This is an excellent development, but hopefully a tracking device will be added. Too many women are being murdered, including in public places, which may have been avoided if there were tracking devices on their phones and on the perpetrator.
Media
Constructive and ethical media reports on social media, print, television, radio and films play an important role in setting acceptable standards of behaviour.
More modern and progressive role models of women and men should be appearing in the mainstream media, films and plays.
Social media is also integral to conveying messages to communities who may not be aware of their rights or how to get help, especially in relation to new apps.
Get help
If you’re reading this now and you’re experiencing DV or a family or friend is experiencing DV, help yourself/them and get out of the situation. You’re not alone and people care about you. Hopefully one day, collective action will mean that sad statistics are replaced by inspiring survival stories.
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.
is a lawyer and lecturer. She is an award winner for Excellence in Law, Journalism & Community Services.
