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'A rage within us': How anti-rape activists are changing laws and minds in Nepal and Australia
Approximately 2,000 cases of rape are registered in Nepal every year, and activists have been increasing pressure on the government to protect women and girls. Some say a ‘misogynistic mindset’ perpetuates the violence, so do Nepalis who are now in Australia feel the same?
Published 3 May 2021 12:06pm
Updated 12 August 2022 3:04pm
By Rajish Aryal, Sewa Bhattarai
Presented by Abhas Parajuli
In February this year, a female rights activist stood in front of a crowd of protesters in Nepal’s capital, Kathmandu, and sent the country’s politicians a blunt message: “Remember my words, my vagina will vote you out.”
Hima Bista was among the hundreds of protesters gathered to demand stronger laws to protect women from sexual violence and discrimination.
At the same protest event, 21-year-old Sapana Sanjeevani read a poem referring to Hindu mythology.
“Women won’t be like Sita anymore,” she read, inferring that Sita was subservient to Hindu god Rama as his wife.
Threats of rape and violence soon followed for both women, with Hima criticised for using “indecent language” in public and Sapana accused of being “anti-Hindu”.
Their protest was the culmination of several rape and murder cases involving teenage girls and a proposal requiring women under the age of 40 to seek written permission from family and local government before travelling abroad.
Laws changed, but violence persists
In October 2020, a flash mob protest against rape took Nepal’s social media by storm. Fully dressed in black, around about two dozen young people took to the streets dancing and chanting “You are a rapist”, in unison.
It was organised by Ajhai Kati Sahane, a group of students and young professionals who had come together after a spate of incidents during the COVID-19 lockdown in the country.
“There was one case of rape in a bus, and another of Samjhana Kami, a 12-year-old who was raped and brutally murdered in western Nepal. We all became very concerned about these incidents and started discussing what we could do,” says Sagoon Bhetwal, one of the group’s core members.
A rage was building within us. We felt like, if we keep quiet, this will go on. This is the time for us to speak up. As young people, we have a social responsibility.
Originating in Chile, the form of protest became popular worldwide, and soon, the group’s videos were shared on Nepali social media, inspiring flash mob protests nationwide.
Then, in November 2020, the government issued a law to prevent violence against women with provisions to waive leniency on account of the offenders’ age and introduce punitive measures for people forcing rape victims to settle out of court.
However, the one-year time limit to make complaints of rape and violence remains unchanged, and Nepal still recognises only women as victims of rape, not men or other genders.
In February 2021, Nepal was once again rocked by the rape and brutal murder of a 17-year-old schoolgirl in the western part of the country.
Source: Monika Deupala
Bhagirathi Bhatta never made it back home from school, and her body was found raped and strangled in a nearby forest. Nationwide protests followed.
The backlash against such protests had always been there by men who felt they were targetted by such protests, but it increased in October 2020 after the group Ajhai Kati Sahane performed its first flash mob.
Source: Monika Deupala
Will laws help change the ‘misogynist mindset’?
Many activists see the change in the law as only the first step in the fight against gender violence, with the real fight being against such a misogynist mindset.
Shasmit Pokharel, a male member of Ajhai Kati Sahane, agrees.
“When we talk about these issues, men get very defensive. They often say, I haven’t done this, and “Not All Men” is often heard. They are diverting from the real issue. Men should understand that this is not a personal attack against anyone, but it is framed this way because most of the perpetrators are men,” he says.
His colleague, Sagoon Bhetwal, also one of the flash mob organisers, also emphasises the need to educate young children about what constitutes violence.
Source: Monika Deupala
“We don’t really talk about issues of social justice from a young age,” she says.
“What is a crime? What should we do and shouldn’t do? Let’s even talk about sex education and consent; what is a good touch and what is bad touch? If people know these things from a young age, then they will know the basics.”
Nepali artists perform drama on violence against women and rising rape cases in Kathmandu, Nepal. Source: Getty Images
Endemic in every country and culture
A recent found that one in three women across the world “will experience physical or sexual violence in their lifetime.”
Sexual violence, it states, remains “one of the most taboo and stigmatising forms,” which leads to continued underreporting of such violence.
WHO Director-General Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus says violence against women is “endemic in every country and culture …. exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic.”
The March 2021 35 per cent of women in south Asia, aged between 15-49, endured lifetime violence from their intimate partner. This figure sat at 23 per cent in Australia and New Zealand.
The Australian experience
The same month saw thousands of women across Australia joining more than 40 women’s , demanding an end to gender-based violence and discrimination.
Provoked by the federal government’s response to an alleged rape of a Liberal Party staff Brittany Higgins and a separate allegation of historical sexual assault against a government minister, protesters renewed calls for the federal government to take concrete steps to address the ‘’.
Janaki Poudel was keenly watching the marches, listening to the protesters’ demands.
Having personally experienced harassment at work, Janaki hopes such protests will encourage other women from her Nepalese community to seek support.
“Just like how Brittany Higgins spoke about what allegedly happened to her in Parliament House in Canberra and many other women are now discussing what happened to them,” she says.
This is why Nepali women in Australia need to be made aware of these issues so they are encouraged to share their sexual or domestic violence experiences.
Janaki Paudel Source: SBS Nepali
Ms Poudel is also the coordinator for the Oceania branch of the Non- residential Nepali Association (NRNA) and has assisted dozens of women experiencing domestic violence and abuse.
Many women, she says, don’t realise that what they’re experiencing constitutes violence.
“There are far too many issues for us to learn about domestic violence and sexual assault. Like understanding the forceful sexual relationship between a husband and a wife is also rape,” she adds.
However, many who are experiencing abuse and violence say they can’t report it due to a perceived lack of social and economic support and the prevailing stigma within the community.
Does moving to a new country change male attitudes?
Janaki Poudel doesn’t think people can change despite moving to a new country such as Australia, where sexual and domestic violence issues are regularly discussed in the media.
Giving an example of a man allegedly threatening her with violence while trying to assist his wife over domestic violence concerns, Ms Poudel says the man was trying to excuse his behaviour by blaming their family or cultural background.
She says she has seen men change not because “their attitude towards their partner was wrong but because of the fear of punitive action, like losing visa, employment or even arrest.”
Melbourne resident Kumari has a slightly different take on this issue.
Source: Stefan Lobont/Pexels
The single mum in her thirties, who separated from her husband due to domestic violence, says the pressure felt by her former partner to conform to the male stereotype in their home country was immense, leading to problems in her household.
“The pressure they feel from the community, the environment they live in, and their mental health situation are not really considered when problems arise”, she says.
“They’re not realising what they’re doing is abuse.”
But for NRNA Women’s Forum coordinator Janaki Poudel, an educated person living in Australia, not understanding what is morally right or wrong is “just an excuse people are trying to make for their behaviour”.
Such excuses are something that Tika Limbu has often seen during his professional career.
Arriving as a student from Nepal in 2009, he has previously worked in the Victorian justice system for several years as a family violence respondent practitioner.
Source: Tika Limbu
His role there was to provide family violence-related information to the accused that were brought to the court he worked at.
As part of his work, Limbu was also tasked with helping people of south Asian background understand what constitutes family violence.
He says many of the people he had to work with, including Nepalis, never thought they had done anything wrong.
“They say, they’re attending the domestic violence awareness session because the court compelled them to. It was always about defending their actions for the alleged perpetrators.”
The people coming through the court system are provided with twenty weeks of men’s behavioural program. Of them, he says, about 60 per cent eventually show they understand what family violence is.
Source: SBS
However, Mr Limbu agrees for many the change is due to fear of legal consequence.
“You can’t change someone’s beliefs, that have been ingrained for decades, within 20 minutes,” he says. “But there are professionals that can assist.”
Cultural awareness or new-gained freedoms?
Sydney resident Kshitiz Budathoki says the lack of understanding and cultural awareness in a new country is also fuelling the problem for many fellow Nepalis in Australia.
A recent university graduate, who came to Australia in 2015, Kshitiz says awareness campaigns are needed within the community to encourage people to talk about their problems.
“What we see is that the victims often don’t speak up, but the campaigners, who don’t really resolve those problems, are the only ones talking.”
The 27-year-old says he has heard many allegations of harassment and abuse within the community as well.
Source: Kshitiz Budathoki
He links such issues to the “independence” many young people like him feel after moving to Australia, away from their families.
“Our culture has taught us to respect women, whereas being independent in this country has had some impact,” he says.
Not being accountable to their parents or their culture like they would in Nepal, he says, could lead many people to end up doing the “wrong thing” without realising what they’re doing.
Maybe the person who’s doing the wrong thing may not understand what they’re doing is wrong.
Women blaming men and vice versa is not going to solve problems surrounding gender-based violence and discrimination, he says.
“Both sides are pointing the finger at each other, rather than working together to solve such problems.”
For Tika Limbu, though, peoples’ thinking should keep up with the changing world.
He has one piece of advice for Nepalis in Australia, “If they see their friend abusing their partner, challenge them, raise the matter, say whatever is happening is not ok.”
If you or someone you know is impacted by family and domestic violence or sexual assault, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit . The Men’s Referral Service provides advice for men on domestic violence and can be contacted on 1300 766 491. In an emergency, call 000.
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